An Open Letter To Myself

To start it off, I just wanted you to know that I am so proud of you. Life hasn’t been too easy¬† on you for the past years and I am truly sorry about that. Despite that, you have managed to keep your fvcking head up and continue fighting and fighting throughout.

This year was so overwhelming isn’t it?, You’ll get through it. I know you! It just that our plans didn’t work out this time. Although you manage to survive every fvcking day, I know you have to rest too. Why is it too hard to give yourself¬† a break for awhile? I think we deserve it too, isn’t it?

You’ve been working hard for a couple of months now, and because you’ve fvcked up you deserved it. I thought at first it’ll just a piece of cake but as the time goes by my head was aching and my anxiety levels up to 999999. Was it going to end up? How? When? till i die?

This is so upsetting! I’ve been hurt so bad before. I’d kill myself in every way. I become numb. And whatever I do there will always be something , a missing piece of me, a hole in my heart.

Though you seem like a loser FOR NOW, atleast you call your self a little-trying-hard-fighter.

I have sinned so many times but I will do my very best to overcome it! And will keep on apologizing and praying. So help me God!

*I don’t think this was an open letter, I just talk to myself. Because I just want someone to talk to . I’m having a hard time please help me